Good Things Come In Tiny Packages 
Jason from an undisclosed location writes:

Dear French Kicks,
My name is Jason and I need some advice. It all started 2 years ago when I started a 
band called Tiny Package with my good pal, Angela. We began to play some local shows 
when I realized that we were both missing out on the divine creatures of the opposite sex. 
I tried desperately to gain attention and acceptance, but to no avail. At one showin particular, I 
saw a girl in the crowd that caught my eye. She kept looking up at me while I was playing, and being the 
shy one I would quickly look away embarrased. After the set I was trying to sell some of our buttons at 
our merch tablewhen I saw her again. She came over and (since the next band began to play) I leaned in
really close to talk to her. I was really nervous. I had no idea what to say to this girl. She had hair like the guy 
from The Vines... man...I was petrified. I couldn't even talk correctly. I think I mumbled something about our 
new song, "Sizing Up the Situation (Jason's Anthem)."She just sort of smiled and left. I haven't seen her since.
I've given up hope of ever seeing that same girl again. I'd really like to know if there's anything I can do to find some 
kind of love in this crazy world (besides music, of course). Angie's been having our own problems with the guys...And
I just don't know what to do If you could help me out I'd really appreciate it. We have a show coming up next week, 
and I'm not sure if I have the  motivation to go through with it. HELP ME FRENCH KICKS!

	Josh: Comment forthcoming
	Lawrence: Comment forthcoming
	Matt: What you need is a hot new look and an attitude to match. Obviously, the old you is a total zero with the ladies so..stop being yourself, and introduce them to the new you, Cisco. Cisco is a sick fuck of a fucker and he always wears the newest Jeans, When Cisco goes out, he's out for revenge. Cisco hates cops, but he loves to party. Now go out there and play your fucking heart out, Cisco!!!! FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!
	Nick (via Telephone): The answer is Angela, friend, right there in front of your face. It's been Angie all along. Don't waste any more time.